context and nuance
tangible thoughts of a different color (and other feelings about talking about stuff online)
We need more nuance on this topic…
If we look at ___ in the context of ____ then…
In the age of information and a time of civil unrest, everyone’s asking for context and nuance. And rightfully so, they are important things to consider in conversations about societal issues, political landscapes, and any complex concepts. Context and nuance are conversation extenders and thought provokers. They invite you to open your mind and expand your knowledge base.
Then you realize how connected everything is. It’s all related; look at the parallels. The influx of extras doesn’t (in my case) necessarily lead to understanding. It conflates and confuses and complicates. Tying my brain in knots and exhausting my spirit.
And y’all I am tired. I thought I knew so much and upheld equitable concepts, but all that has been turned on its head. I want to have context, and I am open to nuance, but the media i am consuming — national news, video essays, or social media posts — has left me in a haze of confusion, anger, and exhaustion.
It’s also left me feeling stupid and uneducated, feeling pushed out of the conversation due to my (perceived) lack of knowledge on a topic. Silence may be golden, however, prolonged silence can lengthen suffering. I will never claim to be an expert on most things, but I am a (cute and) intellectual individual. I am also aware that I love everything, so therefore, I can’t possess too much deep, expert knowledge on most subjects.
I sometimes feel unworthy to write my weekly posts even though most of them aren’t “politics-adjacent”, but everything is political. Do I have something worthy of sharing? Is it the correct thing to share? Am I aware of the context and the potential nuances? I have a lot of feelings about writing (and making art in general). I want to be great at it. Eventually, I want to write some books because I love to tell stories — and most of mine are really funny and very heartwarming. I really care, and I think that makes me a great writer (and designer).
I think I am too concerned about being polite, politically correct, “sensitive”, and “mindful”. Which isn’t inherently wrong, but I feel like it is inhibiting me from using my voice. The internet is RUTHLESS, and while I am (basically) a complete unknown, it just seems like everyone’s opinions are so strong and inflexible…even when advocating for things that are good.
I think I am suffering from video essay fatigue…and confidence issues…and perfectionism stemming from [redacted mental illness].
This is not the fault of the video essayists, but it’s all stressing me out. I can continue to research well and learn new things to help my readers learn things, but I don’t think I’ll be the one to present groundbreaking social constructs or be at the helm of the next cultural movement. But I can personalize the intellectual discoveries for you?
In the journey to create myself and for theNatalog, I wanted to be a video essayist — sharing my interesting takes and well-researched findings to the world. I’ve detached myself from it now. It’s too much. Society has its issues, but not everything is worthy of a deep dive for me. That’s what this is. A collection personal essays, funky op eds, side quests, adventures, and my life in the context of the weird ass things happening in the world. Then, I’ll apply a little ~ Natalie Nuance ~ to it. That’s what I do: I tell stories in the context of my life and the world around me. I will always invite nuance and constructive criticism. I am just a girl. I realize that I can and will be wrong. If I am ever in need of correction or a shift in perspective, please kindly correct me.
However, some folks are just LOUD and WRONG. We need to be mindful of volume, facts, and feelings when we discuss ANYTHING — from fashion to fascism. It’s human to be wrong, we just need to recognize when that is and then take corrective action instead of avoiding the problem. Just because someone has a big voice (and public support), doesn’t mean they are the most trustworthy source. Always be willing to do your own research and look for new voices to provide additional context and nuance.
Long (?) story short, I love writing and sharing my opinions, but I feel stupid. It feels like to whom much internet access is given, much internet research is required, and people who are loud and wrong scare off those who are quiet(er) and correct. I wish perfection wasn’t expected from us when sharing feelings, ideas, and thoughts about the current time.
I think many of us are waking up to the fresh horror that is today’s world (in America, at least).
I ask the citizens of the internet to be kind to us anti-[insert bad stuff] newbies. We are learning slowly and will surely learn about the context and nuances.
Don’t forget to move your clock an hour ahead tonight!
Natalie